Girls Please read before using Facebook


Rules For Girls On Facebook

The following is the list of ground rules I’ve prepared..

Profile photo. If you are in a relationship, kindly upload a photo of you with your sweetheart and use it as your profile picture. A photo of a girl posing alone pretty much screams single. Spare me the time of having to inbox you then you blow me off by telling me you have a boyfriend.

Relationship status. For heaven’s sake, if you are in a relationship, indicate that on your profile. If your profile reads single you are subconsciously inviting me to hit on you. A profile that reads complicated has the same effect.

Updates. Your updates should reflect your state of relationship. An update that reads ‘haki ni baridi woiye’ is synonymous with broadcasting singleness.

Comments. Men, if a girl comments on virtually all your updates, that virtual pussy is yours.

Pokes. If you poke me, I automatically assume you want to sleep with me.

Photo tags. For heaven’s sake, don’t tag me in photos that I’m not present. If you do, it means that you really want me and I’m always on your mind.

Facebook pages. It’s easy to tell the state of a girl by simply looking at the list of Facebook pages that she likes. Pages such as “late night sexts” attract single girls who only receive text messages from Safaricom.

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